I Haven't Been Well

.. As you all know I'm going to be 16 this year.. its catching up with me and I see the sadness in her eyes.. I try hard not to let her see me in pain so I sleep allot.. I however cannot hide the fact that this old bladder leaks and it embarrasses me to no end.. I'm sure I hear the youngins snickering at me.. but their time will come too.. I hear her say the other day how she understands the rescue called " House Of Puddles " for senior bassets.. Sometimes I cannot get to the door fast enough.. she has me on pain meds but you know they help a bit but I'm sure they do other things to my body..
She gave me a bath yesterday .. she used to struggle picking me up I was 83 pounds.. now I'm about 70.. I'm not sure what thats about but I know she fears this reality.. I do know she tries to put all this out of her mind.. but its not easy .. she loves me to pieces.. You know she used to sing a song to me called " Somewhere " by Streisand somebody.. and tell me about the hobby farm we would have and the long walks life would be stress free.. we could just hang out.. I could put my head on her lap and catch my zzzz's I love that ya know.. It seems so long since I heard her sing to me.. I think she has lost hope of that happening as she seems to constantly be struggling .. this dam place we live in now has hit her again with fines.. for rescuing dogs.. $1200.00 imagine.. I don't know what she will do this time.. I fear we'll end up in jail or something..
Oh all this talk is tiring me out.. I'm going for a nap.. Will write again God willing..